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Pivoting Loss


“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” - Rumi

So, you woke to see another day. What will you do with it?

Driving on Santa Fe Avenue today, I glanced up at a billboard, “If you have lost faith in God, call (88)….” I contemplated, knowing a part of me inhabits that message.

In this season of loss, I have seen some friends drift away from their faith. I have also seen some of the holy become holier. And then there are the in-betweeners, like me. It is a horrible thing to feel and worse yet to write...I hold a grudge against God.

I have not attended church service since the start of the pandemic. At first, the excuses were social distancing, slow the spread, etc. But the real reason is resentment. As death has taken a giant indiscriminate rake to the living, many of us have asked, God, how can you let this happen? Although this question burns inside me regularly, I still pray and pray real hard for loved ones struggling to stay alive.

Pivoting, I’m going to leave God out of this for a minute.

I’ve often said that the best way to live is to remember that we’re going to die. I was reminded of this a few days ago, while attending a high school boyfriend’s funeral. Seeing his larger-than-life smile on a photo poster, hearing the bagpipes play and watching the doves fly, the truth took to the megaphone: We are mortal. Life is temporary.

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” – Norman Cousins

The preacher asked funeral attendees, “What message would our friend have for us, now that he has seen a truth to which we are not yet privy?” The preacher answered his own question with three points: Life is short; forgive others; and live a life of service.

Today, I share a reminder, regardless of the spiritual island you inhabit. Our physical existence here is temporary. We are all in the same boat. Some have lived kinder lives than others. Some have endured harsher lessons than others. Regardless of your circumstance, what will you do today that will make the most of your flame?

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